Getting Real Together Part 2 of 3: A Live Intimacy Laboratory

2022-09-12T15:25:05-07:00

On September 21st, we gather for the second of the three salons in the final Intimacy Salon season of the year - and YOU are invited! If you enjoy online learning and have wanted to dip a toe in the waters of making connection a practice, I hope you will join us on Wednesday, September 21st. No one turned away for lack of funds.

Getting Real Together Part 2 of 3: A Live Intimacy Laboratory2022-09-12T15:25:05-07:00

Togetherness & Touch: A Couples Communication & Massage Workshop with Dr. Jessica Tartaro and James Van Wert

2022-09-06T11:04:39-07:00

Join Jessica & James for a nourishing and playful celebration of partnership on Saturday, October 8th from 1-5pm. The first half will focus on communication tools for growing feelings of compassion, desire, playfulness and trust, led by Jessica. The second half will include a hands-on introduction to non-sexual partner massage for greater relaxation and body connection, led by James. All couples welcome!

Togetherness & Touch: A Couples Communication & Massage Workshop with Dr. Jessica Tartaro and James Van Wert2022-09-06T11:04:39-07:00

SpeakUP Fall Series: Deepening Our Connections

2022-08-10T14:22:57-07:00

After a successful summer series - and based on feedback from nearly 30 community participants - I will be offering a twice a month, in person, Fall SpeakUP series starting September 1st and running through November 17th.  I hope you will join us!

SpeakUP Fall Series: Deepening Our Connections2022-08-10T14:22:57-07:00

Getting Real Together Part 1 of 3: A Live Intimacy Laboratory

2022-08-28T22:03:06-07:00

In Season 3 of the 2022 Intimacy Salons, we will be focusing on applying the tools and skills we have been learning all year in our relationships with one another. Rather than a slide show being the focus, this season, your own heart and relational process will be the teacher.

Getting Real Together Part 1 of 3: A Live Intimacy Laboratory2022-08-28T22:03:06-07:00

Episode 68 – Daring to Disturb the Sound of Silence Between You and Your Loved One (teaser)

2022-06-11T22:58:00-07:00

When conflict takes over your relationships, most people default to silence. But silence wounds our relationships. When you use this tool, you won’t have to pay the price of silence between you again. 1:45 I’ve been seeing a lot of this in my private pra...

Episode 68 – Daring to Disturb the Sound of Silence Between You and Your Loved One (teaser)2022-06-11T22:58:00-07:00

All Ears On Deck: A Simple Tool for Listening In Times of Sorrow

2022-06-01T07:59:52-07:00

This week, in light of the recent school shooting and the abundance of pain, frustration, and horror that has cloaked our country like a gritty silt, I wanted to revisit one of my favorite topics: how to listen to one another. Think of this show like a “how to” for a basic building block of listening.

All Ears On Deck: A Simple Tool for Listening In Times of Sorrow2022-06-01T07:59:52-07:00

Episode 67 – All Ears On Deck: A SimpleTool for Listening In Times of Sorrow

2022-06-01T08:00:38-07:00

Reflective listening is deceptively simple. Anyone can practice it. And it has the potential to help us “catch up” when overwhelming events can be too much to digest on our own.    1:30 Emotionally metabolize events that are too big 2:15 Listening for du...

Episode 67 – All Ears On Deck: A SimpleTool for Listening In Times of Sorrow2022-06-01T08:00:38-07:00

SpeakUP In Person: Coming Back to Connection

2022-05-30T16:46:32-07:00

Many of you have been asking for it, and finally, it's happening. SpeakUP in person is coming back. Starting June 2nd, I will be leading a monthly, summer SpeakUP connection event IN PERSON every first Thursday in June, July & August at a beautiful, private residence on Old Eaglemount on the Olympic Peninsula. Email me your RSVP to receive the address.

SpeakUP In Person: Coming Back to Connection2022-05-30T16:46:32-07:00

Episode 66 – When He Comes, I Cry: The Power of Sex to Reconnect (teaser)

2022-06-11T22:27:40-07:00

When the going gets tough in relationship, sometimes you need more than words to reconnect you - you need bodies. In this episode "teaser", I introduce why sex as a practice can save and sustain your connection over the long term.  Check out the full sho...

Episode 66 – When He Comes, I Cry: The Power of Sex to Reconnect (teaser)2022-06-11T22:27:40-07:00

How to Free Up the Flow When Your Relationship Gets Stuck

2022-05-17T07:19:35-07:00

This week I’m going to explore the experience of relationships getting “stuck” and how to come back to flow.  By “getting stuck”, what I’m referring to is when you have things unsaid from a moment in time that came before and you can’t fully move on from that previous moment.  That’s the sticking agent - the unsaid thing.

How to Free Up the Flow When Your Relationship Gets Stuck2022-05-17T07:19:35-07:00

Episode 65 – How to Free Up the Flow When Your Relationship Gets Stuck

2022-05-17T07:20:37-07:00

Having things unsaid in a relationship will clog the pipes of your connection.  In this episode, I explain that it’s never too late to get vulnerable and bring the flow back.    00:49 Big announcement about “Under 10” 1:39 Where to find me on Patreon goi...

Episode 65 – How to Free Up the Flow When Your Relationship Gets Stuck2022-05-17T07:20:37-07:00

No, You Can’t Have My Tangerine: The Dance of Boundaries

2022-05-06T16:39:02-07:00

While I was in Hawaii, I paid a lot of attention to my boundaries, including where they were respected and where they were not. Which I do normally anyway. Learning to set and honor my boundaries is a big part of how I've been healing my history of trauma. From my travels, one particular incident stands out.

No, You Can’t Have My Tangerine: The Dance of Boundaries2022-05-06T16:39:02-07:00

Why Transitioning Gently Back to Connection Matters

2022-04-11T20:53:02-07:00

“Just moving on '' after the worst of the pandemic poses major risks to our quality of life and capacity to connect. When you have the courage to slow down and honor what you just went through, you can retrieve and re-integrate the parts of you that got “stuck” in the stressors of the last two years.

Why Transitioning Gently Back to Connection Matters2022-04-11T20:53:02-07:00

Episode 64 – Masks Coming Off: Why Transitioning Gently Back to Connection Matters

2022-04-11T20:54:53-07:00

“Just moving on '' after the worst of the pandemic poses major risks to our quality of life and capacity to connect.  When you have the courage to slow down and honor what you just went through, you can retrieve and re-integrate the parts of you that got...

Episode 64 – Masks Coming Off: Why Transitioning Gently Back to Connection Matters2022-04-11T20:54:53-07:00

Self Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom Part 2: My Body Is A Fiesta

2022-04-04T20:39:15-07:00

In this blog, I delve into the importance of a self-pleasure practice and specify steps you can take to create or deepen your practice. It takes courage to talk about this - and read about it! I'm grateful you're here.

Self Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom Part 2: My Body Is A Fiesta2022-04-04T20:39:15-07:00

Episode #63 – Self Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom Part 2: My Body Is A Fiesta

2022-04-04T20:40:42-07:00

In this week’s episode, I delve into the importance of a self-pleasure practice and specific steps you can take to create or deepen your practice.  Whether you’ve been pleasuring yourself for a lifetime or have never felt ready – until now – I’m grateful...

Episode #63 – Self Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom Part 2: My Body Is A Fiesta2022-04-04T20:40:42-07:00

Masks Coming Off

2022-04-11T20:53:49-07:00

Since the mask mandate was lifted in Washington on March 11th, the world is slowly beginning to re-open. It would be tempting to put the stressors of the last two years behind us. Yet when we "forget" we do a great injustice to the health of our hearts and minds. How do we transition gently while honoring what just happened?

Masks Coming Off2022-04-11T20:53:49-07:00

Self Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom: Part 1

2022-03-30T07:33:51-07:00

Most people feel some shame about masturbation. Yet self-pleasuring is a powerful way to know what your body wants. In this blog, I tell the story of how I met the Grandmother of Masturbation and invite you to reflect on your earliest messages about your body’s pleasure.

Self Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom: Part 12022-03-30T07:33:51-07:00

Episode 62 – Self-Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom: Part 1

2022-04-04T20:31:56-07:00

Most people feel some shame about masturbation.  Yet self-pleasuring is a powerful way to know what your body wants. In this episode, I tell the story of how I met the Grandmother of Masturbation and invite you to reflect on your earliest messages about ...

Episode 62 – Self-Pleasuring Your Way to Freedom: Part 12022-04-04T20:31:56-07:00

So What Exactly Do I Do When I’m Feeling Overwhelmed?

2022-03-21T20:23:18-07:00

In the moments when your feelings are bigger than you can handle, it’s important to have options. In this blog, I share three “go to” principles to practice both when you most need it and especially in the times when you don’t.

So What Exactly Do I Do When I’m Feeling Overwhelmed?2022-03-21T20:23:18-07:00

Episode 61 – So What Exactly Do I Do When I’m Feeling Overwhelmed?

2022-03-21T20:24:00-07:00

In the moments when your feelings are bigger than you can handle, it’s important to have options. In this show, I share three “go to” principles to practice both when you most need it and especially in the times when you don’t. 1:35 No one-size-fits-all ...

Episode 61 – So What Exactly Do I Do When I’m Feeling Overwhelmed?2022-03-21T20:24:00-07:00

Episode 60 – You’re Not The Only One Who Is Feeling F*cked Up

2022-03-15T12:01:12-07:00

When we only show our outsides to each other, we can feel alone. In this episode, I show you my insides and give you permission to do the same and to feel how connected we truly are.  1:05 There’s one main problem with being f*cked up 1:33 What if we had...

Episode 60 – You’re Not The Only One Who Is Feeling F*cked Up2022-03-15T12:01:12-07:00

Gratitude Is Not For Sissies: The Power of Saying Thank you to Love

2022-03-08T09:56:44-07:00

Opening with gratitude when love touches you can shake you to your core. Gratitude is not for sissies. In this blog, I explain why and offer you practices for growing your capacity to use the embodied "thank you" to let love deeply in.

Gratitude Is Not For Sissies: The Power of Saying Thank you to Love2022-03-08T09:56:44-07:00

Episode 59 – Gratitude Is Not For Sissies: The Power of Saying Thank You to Love

2022-03-08T09:55:08-07:00

Though it may seem simple, opening with gratitude when what you want in love touches you can shake you to your core.  In this episode, I explain why and offer you practices for growing this capacity.  1:21 Caveat: you may not like this story 1:40 Somethi...

Episode 59 – Gratitude Is Not For Sissies: The Power of Saying Thank You to Love2022-03-08T09:55:08-07:00

Episode #58 – Let’s Get Married! / This Will Never Work! What the Roller Coaster of Early Relating is Showing You About Love

2022-03-01T14:32:06-07:00

When you start to get what you want in love, a whole new challenge arises – the opportunity to learn to live life at a higher voltage.  In this episode, I offer you practices for expanding gradually so you can receive what you want without getting in you...

Episode #58 – Let’s Get Married! / This Will Never Work! What the Roller Coaster of Early Relating is Showing You About Love2022-03-01T14:32:06-07:00

Let’s Get Married! / This Will Never Work! What the Roller Coaster of Early Relating Is Showing You About Love

2022-03-01T14:34:33-07:00

When you start to get what you want in love, a whole new challenge arises – the opportunity to learn to live life at a higher voltage. In this episode, I offer you practices for expanding gradually so you can receive what you want without getting in your own way.

Let’s Get Married! / This Will Never Work! What the Roller Coaster of Early Relating Is Showing You About Love2022-03-01T14:34:33-07:00

Can We Find Compassion for Even The Worst Behavior – In Them & In Us?

2022-04-10T12:59:00-07:00

The ability to respond with forgiveness and understanding in a world that is teaching us to fight and condemn feels Divine. In this essay, I reflect on what it means to me to become better than my own history of trauma in order to heal myself and the world around me.

Can We Find Compassion for Even The Worst Behavior – In Them & In Us?2022-04-10T12:59:00-07:00

How to Have the Best 2-Minute Make Out Ever

2022-02-21T21:15:52-07:00

This practice is totally about making out, but about so much more, too.  It’s about allowing yourself to be in full pleasure with what is, rather than finding what’s missing and focusing on what isn’t.  Be warned, this is an advanced practice.  And the more vulnerable you feel, the harder it will be. It can also multiple the happiness quotient in your relationship by one hundred-fold. I’m excited to show you how.

How to Have the Best 2-Minute Make Out Ever2022-02-21T21:15:52-07:00

Episode 57 – How to Have the Best 2-Minute Make Out Ever

2022-02-21T21:15:29-07:00

You can spend your life focusing on what you don't want and criticizing the people who want to help you. Or you can get oh-so-turned on about the best two minutes of your life.  You decide.  1:40 The negativity bias saves us time and again 3:00 But it un...

Episode 57 – How to Have the Best 2-Minute Make Out Ever2022-02-21T21:15:29-07:00

Healing Your Desire So That You Can Ask for What You Want

2022-02-14T22:59:15-07:00

I’m going to begin by stating the obvious.  In order to ask for it – whatever “it” is - you have to have some clue about what you want.  For example, when placing an order at a restaurant, you are expected to specify, “I would like beef curry, spice level 3 with a side of brown rice”. If you don’t know what you want, when the waiter shows up at your table, you’re going to have a very tough time getting fed that evening.

Healing Your Desire So That You Can Ask for What You Want2022-02-14T22:59:15-07:00

Episode 56 – Healing Your Desire SoThat You Can Ask for What You Want

2022-02-14T23:00:38-07:00

Without knowing what you want, you will have a very hard time getting it. In this episode, I explore how to clear the channel between you and the voice of what you want so that you can hear the animal of your desire. 1:05 In order to ask for it, you have...

Episode 56 – Healing Your Desire SoThat You Can Ask for What You Want2022-02-14T23:00:38-07:00

What Happened When Some Guy Recently Tried to Flirt With Me

2022-02-13T21:33:43-07:00

It’s exceedingly rare these days that I get hit on. Between infrequently leaving the house, a steady decline in my hygiene since 2020 and the fact that I broadcast “happily married” in my every step, I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like. So yesterday afternoon when the guy in the co-op parking lot started flirting with me, it was like a lost art waking from a winter slumber.

What Happened When Some Guy Recently Tried to Flirt With Me2022-02-13T21:33:43-07:00

2022 Intimacy Salons with Dr. Jessica Tartaro

2022-05-10T20:29:34-07:00

A once a month night of adult discussion, candid sharing, meaningful connection and live intimacy coaching for anyone looking for real talk about what makes relationships thrive beginning February 16th, 2022, and going through January 18th, 2023.

2022 Intimacy Salons with Dr. Jessica Tartaro2022-05-10T20:29:34-07:00

Why Telling Your Partner the Truth Can Be So Scary

2022-01-31T23:09:16-07:00

Across my private practice, I have recently been hearing about your hesitation and sometimes outright paralysis when it comes to telling your partner what you actually think, feel and need. In this show, I want to normalize why that can feel so scary as well as explore the impact of withholding truths on the aliveness of your love.

Why Telling Your Partner the Truth Can Be So Scary2022-01-31T23:09:16-07:00

Episode 55 – Why Telling Your Partner the Truth Is So Scary

2022-01-31T23:12:41-07:00

In this episode, I attempt to normalize why asking for what you need whether big or small can feel scary when you think it might rock the boat of your intimate relationship.  1:30 Dr. Brene Brown’s definition of vulnerability 1:50 In order for love to ge...

Episode 55 – Why Telling Your Partner the Truth Is So Scary2022-01-31T23:12:41-07:00

Episode 54 – Hands in the Dirt: How to Grow Community

2022-01-25T09:48:29-07:00

In this episode, I introduce two principles for growing community that I have learned from my years of starting groups. In this era of prolonged social isolation, it’s revolutionary to still find ways to gather. I invite you to get your hands dirty with ...

Episode 54 – Hands in the Dirt: How to Grow Community2022-01-25T09:48:29-07:00

Hands in the Dirt: How to Grow Community

2022-01-25T09:46:51-07:00

In this episode, I’m going to share with you two, simple practices I have been honing for years on how to start community in the hopes that you will join me in rolling up your sleeves, getting your hands dirty and getting to work filling some of those gaps.

Hands in the Dirt: How to Grow Community2022-01-25T09:46:51-07:00

More Together Than Alone: The Role of Community in Healing Change

2022-01-24T19:30:02-07:00

Individual therapy is important. But it will never alone fill the needs that community so powerfully meets. We need the village more than ever. In this episode I explain how being a part of a healthy community, in addition to doing your personal work, is key for activating our blueprint for health.

More Together Than Alone: The Role of Community in Healing Change2022-01-24T19:30:02-07:00

Episode 53 – More Together Than Alone: The Role of Community in Healing Change

2022-01-17T21:06:23-07:00

Individual therapy is important. But it will never alone fill the needs that community so powerfully meets. We need the village more than ever. In this episode I explain how being a part of a healthy community, in addition to doing your personal work, is...

Episode 53 – More Together Than Alone: The Role of Community in Healing Change2022-01-17T21:06:23-07:00

Why Words Are Essential to Love Making

2022-01-24T19:30:53-07:00

This episode is about the importance of talking to one another during love making and all the many ways that communication in sex is vital for increasing the pleasure and deepening the connection.  Something most people never learned.

Why Words Are Essential to Love Making2022-01-24T19:30:53-07:00

Episode 52 – Why Words Are Essential to Love Making

2022-01-10T22:43:58-07:00

Most people never learned why talking matters in our love making. In this episode, I explain how words in bed are the road signs orienting you for the journey and teach you three different forms of communication you can use to connect to your partner dur...

Episode 52 – Why Words Are Essential to Love Making2022-01-10T22:43:58-07:00

It’s Not If You Get Triggered, It’s How You Clean It Up

2022-01-24T19:31:42-07:00

Happy new year!  I pray the new year has begun in peace for you.  Though I happen to know, because you have told me, that for many of you it hasn’t.  This episode is about all the friction that has been happening lately - in couples, in families and across community. 

It’s Not If You Get Triggered, It’s How You Clean It Up2022-01-24T19:31:42-07:00

Episode 51 – It’s Not If You Get Triggered, It’s How You Clean It Up

2022-01-06T21:22:48-07:00

Everyone gets triggered.  What makes the difference between constant breakdown and healthy relating is what you tell yourself and how you mend.  In this episode, I invite you to bring compassion to your triggers so you can learn from and heal these momen...

Episode 51 – It’s Not If You Get Triggered, It’s How You Clean It Up2022-01-06T21:22:48-07:00
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