I F*CKED UP: THE ASTONISHING POWER OF THIS SIMPLE PHRASE
I will admit it. I was pissed. I know my youngest brother is a busy father of three. Yet for weeks he had delayed sending me an important package after swearing multiple times he would put it in the mail.
YOU MUST KNOW YOUR WILD TO LOVE ME
I trust you to the degree that you have welcomed your own wild out and befriended them... Only then will we be safe to love one another.
THE OTHER SEAT: EVOLVING THE WOUNDED HEALER
Ask anyone in the healing arts — a therapist of any stripe — what our biggest challenge is, and if they are being honest, they will tell you it’s getting in the other seat.
It’s Connection That Makes the Difference
Pain without connection becomes like a death urge. An overwhelm for the heart and nervous system. A need to escape life and numb feeling. A panicked lockdown that knows, we were not designed to live like this.
THESE WORDS MY LIFELINE
I want words that aren’t the “doing” kind. Not the phrases that disorient you with some shiny distant maybe thing when underneath and right here and right now I’m dull and tarnished and wanting you to see. “It will work out”, “I’m really very lucky”, and “l’ll keep you posted”, I said How automatically I placated and hid, how easily you got distracted and how lonely I felt when you took my bait and smiled.
Since Our Young Can’t Walk, Our Mothers Need Choice (And other good reasons to protect our freedom to choose)
As an Intimacy Coach who focuses on helping my clients integrate trauma, I wanted to share my thoughts on why it is vital that a government that cares about the health of its people always empower women to have control over our reproduction.
THE INNER WORK NEEDED TO FACE THE UNBEARABLE AROUND US
A former client wrote me early this morning, reflecting on last weekend’s horrifying shooting at the synagogue outside of Pittsburgh, and said, “There is so much shared grief and disbelief — my personal experience seems unimportant. This is a time for community and for me to be calm and listen”.
GIVING THE GIFT OF TRUTH FOR THE HOLIDAYS
I’m going to give you some advice. I know you didn’t ask for it.If you are hurting, tell someone.You’re the one sitting at the holiday gathering putting on the smile that fools them all, laughing at the right moments and being witty to keep them sure, “This one’s got it together.”
LEADERSHIP FROM THE INSIDE OUT: A NEW MODEL FOR THE HEALING ARTS
It’s Wednesday again. Which means the nervousness will start right after lunch. As the afternoon wears on I will grow distracted, answering texts a little too fast and checking Facebook compulsively. My gut will begin to churn shortly after 4pm. By 6pm I will have tried on and changed my outfit at least three times. Despite my weekly resolution, I will still leave my house 10 minutes late, my feet cement, loath to exit my warm loft for the cold walk to my car.
HOW NOT TO BECOME THE THING THAT HURT ME
I love my anger. I have been likened to a lioness several times in the last few weeks and I feel pride at the comparison. Pun intended.It’s taken me years to access this power. For most of my early adulthood, my lioness lay muzzled. With her on my side now, awake and roaring, I feel strong.
I BECOME REAL WHEN YOU BELIEVE ME: WHY BELIEVING SURVIVORS MATTERS
The hashtag for much of the activism around the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court is, #BelieveSurvivors. I have been reflecting deeply on what that means. In light of the response by many to discredit people -not just women but all genders – who come forward with stories of sexual assault, I wanted to share my perspective on why believing survivors is a radical act of service, support and healing.
SURRENDER IN THE LEAST LIKELY PLACE
In the past few days, I had the opportunity to experience my body in the throes of food poisoning (Note: do NOT read on if you cannot stomach stomach stories). The nausea hit towards the end of an evening client session which posed a tricky predicament, though luckily I was able to maintain my composure and close the session before racing to the bathroom.
PRAISING GOD WHILE HAVING SEX: FAITH FROM THE BEDROOM
If you only know me as an outspoken sexuality coach, you may not know that my spiritual life growing up in Plano, TX, included a living relationship to a very personal God. In my parents’ home, when I woke up, I thanked Jesus for a good night’s sleep
HOW MY PUSSY PREPARED ME TO MARCH
It wasn’t that I hadn’t seen pussy before. To the contrary, having dated women throughout graduate school, I was definitely more familiar than most with being close to another woman’s body. So it couldn’t have been just the mere fact of pussy that made that spring morning in Austin in 2012 so impactful.
MY FIRST VIPASSSANA RETREAT AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER DO THIS
I also thought, since this retreat is all about introspection, why don’t I leave my contacts out and let the world fade. Thirty years of wearing corrective lenses has rendered me acutely nearsighted and so the blurry world around me made it easy to anchor my focus inside.
IT’S TIME TO PUT MY GUN DOWN
When the news broke about the recent shootings in Dallas last Thursday, my heart froze. I found out when my friend Saul messaged me on Facebook. “Turn on the news”, he wrote. “There have been attacks”.
WE GATHER IN A CIRCLE: A MEDITATION ON LEADERSHIP
Ever since grade school I have gravitated to leadership. Yep, I was that kid. The one who always got A’s, was quietly liked by most and ran for and got elected to Student Council President and Class President in the same year. I was 12. I still hadn’t menstruated. I wore big, horn-rimmed glasses and my hair was usually frizzy.
ORGASMIC MEDITATION & GRIEF
I’d like to share something here about my grief process of late. Sunday, a very close friend of mine died in a car accident. No warning, nothing in her life indicated the end was near. A car hit her and she was gone.
YOU MEAN YOU WISH TO SURRENDER TO ME?
My favorite line from The Princess Bride, my favorite childhood movie, begins like this. “Surrender!” commands Prince Humperdink, as he and his henchmen surround a battered Westley and Buttercup as they limp out of the woods of the infamous Fire Swamp.
A SIMPLE GATEWAY TO GET THEM TO REALLY HEAR YOU
It usually starts the same way. One of us has something difficult to share. It’s like a hot potato, difficult to hold. We toss it about, circling the conversation before eventually blurting some news to the other that lands like a burning coal we didn’t see coming. Ouch! Damage is done.
CHOOSING YOUR OWN SHOES: AN INTIMACY COACHING LESSON
A simple tenet uniting all of us in holistic wellness is that we all want to feel good. Seems obvious! To have harmony with our spouses. To have that cute guy or girl call you back. To be running a bustling business. To wake refreshed each day. I know that’s what I want!