We’ve mostly been taught in love to make it feel good.  But learning to expand into the ache of wanting but not having is a vital element for mature and empowering intimacy. In episode 10, I invite you to practice “grounded yearning” with me.

1:15 Distress or discomfort has value to us
1:50 Big feelings need big space
2:01 Think, an ocean trying to get through a garden hose
2:27 A definition of yearning
3:16 I want my emotions to energize, inspire and expand me – not drown me
3:30 You have to practice distress tolerance/self-soothing to receive the benefit of yearning (see resources below)
4:20 Let’s try a yearning experiment…
6:24 To savor what you once wanted to avoid
8:10 It’s not a “break apart” – it’s a “break open” –  into a bigger version of yourself
8:21 Choosing feeling stretches my emotional holding tank
9:00 Welcoming the ache of sad classical music
9:53 This week’s practice – saying yes to the yearning

Resources on distress tolerance and self soothing: Podcast “DBT + Me” On Spotify and Apple.  A Healing Space: Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times by Matt Licata

Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Giorgio Trovato via Unspash


Contact Information

Dr. Jessica Tartaro
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”

Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

“Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“.