We’ve mostly been taught in love to make it feel good. But learning to expand into the ache of wanting but not having is a vital element for mature and empowering intimacy. In episode 10, I invite you to practice “grounded yearning” with me.
1:15 Distress or discomfort has value to us
1:50 Big feelings need big space
2:01 Think, an ocean trying to get through a garden hose
2:27 A definition of yearning
3:16 I want my emotions to energize, inspire and expand me – not drown me
3:30 You have to practice distress tolerance/self-soothing to receive the benefit of yearning (see resources below)
4:20 Let’s try a yearning experiment…
6:24 To savor what you once wanted to avoid
8:10 It’s not a “break apart” – it’s a “break open” – into a bigger version of yourself
8:21 Choosing feeling stretches my emotional holding tank
9:00 Welcoming the ache of sad classical music
9:53 This week’s practice – saying yes to the yearning
Resources on distress tolerance and self soothing: Podcast “DBT + Me” On Spotify and Apple. A Healing Space: Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times by Matt Licata
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Giorgio Trovato via Unspash
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Contact Information
Dr. Jessica Tartaro
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562
Email: DrTartaro@gmail.com
Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/
“Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“.