There’s so much in life right now that can’t be fixed or changed.  The harder option is to listen, ground and feel.  In this episode, I walk you through how to say nothing as a listener and in so doing, effectively lighten the emotional loads of those around you. Episode 16 is here.

1:20 “I hear you, I’m with you and I’m not trying to fix or change you”.
1:46 Being present with the unfixable is an advanced skill most people can’t do.
2:12 I talk you through – in slow motion – what happens when you are listening to someone’s discomfort.
3:08 The urge to fix or change is like an emotional itch.
3:48 We are wired to need one another’s validation to help us know we matter.
4:26 Here are 4 options for how to “say nothing”.
6:15 You can also just ask directly what they need.
6:50 “It’s Not About The Nail”
8:28 When it comes to being present to injustice, we must do our grief work.
9:04 By listening and saying nothing, you lighten the weight of the other person’s burdens.
9:33 This week’s homework.

Resources: “It’s Not About the Nail” YouTube video (2013)

Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley
Photo by Jacob Curtis via Unsplash


Contact Information

Dr. Jessica Tartaro
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”

Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

“Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“.