There’s so much in life right now that can’t be fixed or changed. The harder option is to listen, ground and feel. In this episode, I walk you through how to say nothing as a listener and in so doing, effectively lighten the emotional loads of those around you. Episode 16 is here.
1:20 “I hear you, I’m with you and I’m not trying to fix or change you”.
1:46 Being present with the unfixable is an advanced skill most people can’t do.
2:12 I talk you through – in slow motion – what happens when you are listening to someone’s discomfort.
3:08 The urge to fix or change is like an emotional itch.
3:48 We are wired to need one another’s validation to help us know we matter.
4:26 Here are 4 options for how to “say nothing”.
6:15 You can also just ask directly what they need.
6:50 “It’s Not About The Nail”
8:28 When it comes to being present to injustice, we must do our grief work.
9:04 By listening and saying nothing, you lighten the weight of the other person’s burdens.
9:33 This week’s homework.
Resources: “It’s Not About the Nail” YouTube video (2013)
Dr. Jessica Tartaro
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”
“Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”
Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“.