You can spend your life focusing on what you don’t want and criticizing the people who want to help you. Or you can get oh-so-turned on about the best two minutes of your life.  You decide. Transcript for this episode available here.

1:40 The negativity bias saves us time and again

3:00 But it undermines us in love

3:40 Quote by Dr. Rick Hansen to help understand this sticky phenomenon

4:28 Consider this the “off” switch for the negativity bias

5:42 Imagine this scenario of pleasure, heat and desire building…and then.

7:15 What would you do?

7:50 Instead of your default response, try this.

8:37 Blow your breath on the ember of what you want and see it grow.

9:34 This week’s homework

Resources: I have referenced Dr. Rick Hanson before. He’s a badass. Check out his books, programs and free resources including meditations for retraining your brain at:  And sign up in advance for my next Intimacy Salon on March 16th! The first one was so fun. People said they left feeling less alone, more connected and more clear about asking for what they wanted.  Get your ticket at:

Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

Photo by Sawyer Brice on Unsplash

Contact Information

Dr. Jessica Tartaro
Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator
Pronouns “She” + “Her”

Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

“Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“.