This post was originally written on May 29, 2015.
I’d like to share something here about my grief process of late. Sunday, a very close friend of mine died in a car accident. No warning, nothing in her life indicated the end was near. A car hit her and she was gone.
You might think that Orgasmic Meditation – or OM for short – and grief have nothing to do with one another. But that’s not my experience.
When I read the news by text Monday afternoon, I immediately threw my phone down and crumpled to the floor. The news hit me, the way news like this hits. Like a stinging electric shock. Like my vision blurring. Like my skin prickling. As if it was coming unglued from my body.
But something marvelous followed.
The news came down from my head and into my heart. I cracked open. Big wet tears flowed. My body softened. And it has stayed soft since, through this past week of crying and praying and consoling and being consoled. The memorial was last night in Austin, and I am still here soaking up the community support.
I share this because I am watching a number of my close friends struggle with being numb since her death. Which is an understandable reaction, when our system is confronted with something that we don’t yet have the capacity to metabolize.
My OM practice, along with the other work I have done, trains my body to relax that bracing against the pain. When I was an adolescent, I learned to channel emotional pain into thoughts, since I could think so clearly from a young age. But I believe my greatest gift remains my heart. Because the stroker’s finger is on a woman’s most physically sensitive spot, her clitoris, practicing Orgasmic Meditation has reprogrammed my nervous system to make friends with high sensation, including high emotional sensation. So that sometimes (not always), when I am hurt, instead of flipping to anger or intellectual defense, I can just let the pain in.
It is the morning after Deborah’s memorial now. It was a long service in a hot room with well over a hundred people. And my body feels so alive. The edges of things are sharp and beautiful. I am learning that right back behind that pain, if we can let the anguish in, is also so much joy.
OM is a sexual practice with benefits that can impact what can really make us healthy, happy adults. If you are curious about this practice and about tapping its benefits for yourself, contact me. I would be happy to share with you what I have learned.